Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. If you’re interested in hearing from The Times regularly about great TV, sign up for our Watching newsletter and get recommendations straight to your inbox.
President Trump has worked hard to stem and suppress the various investigations surrounding him, leaving him open to accusations of obstruction of justice, according to a New York Times report published this week. He has also publicly attacked the investigation more than 1,100 times since he took office, The Times found. (When the article came out, Trump remained true to form: He savaged it.)
Stephen Colbert highlighted one part of the report, which points out that Trump’s behavior has slowly come to feel like the norm for many Americans. Colbert urged his viewers not to become inured to the president’s behavior.
“Please don’t do that! Please don’t lose track! I just want to remind you that that mildly nauseous feeling you have is because for the last two years, Donald Trump has been spinning you in a tumble-dryer full of turd.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The president attacking his Justice Department, trusting Putin over his own intelligence community, calling the F.B.I. a bunch of corrupt, deep-state coup plotters is not normal. It is strange. It’s like how Jack in the Box sells tacos for some reason? It may not be illegal, but it certainly violates something sacred.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Speaking of the Russia investigation, Donald Trump would prefer that we not speak of it. In fact, he has tried very hard to make all investigations of him vanish faster than a cheeseburger at bedtime.” — STEPHEN COLBERTNoah vs. Big Pharma
Trevor Noah followed up on the recent discovery, through a court filing, that the Sackler family was much more directly involved in covering up the addictive qualities of OxyContin than had been previously known. The family is widely known for its philanthropy, but it has also played a major role in the scourge of opioid abuse that suffused America over the past quarter-century.
Purdue Pharma, the Sacklers’ company, aggressively marketed the drug to doctors, sometimes with the help of exotic dancers. Noah commented on one pharmaceutical executive and former stripper who allegedly bribed and engaged in sexual acts with doctors she was trying to persuade to prescribe more opioids.
“That’s right, this drug company didn’t just bribe doctors to push opioids; they sent strippers to bribe the doctors. And let me just say, when a stripper starts paying you, something fishy is going on. That just doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t make sense. It’s like a crackhead begging to give you . ‘Hey, brother, you look like you could use some help. Come on, man, take it!’” — TREVOR NOAH
“This one family made billion by allegedly lying about how addictive opioids are. That is straight-up evil. If your product is addictive, you have to be upfront about it. I mean, that’s why we always start our show with a disclaimer: ‘Do not consume more than three episodes of “The Daily Show” if you are addicted to Africans with dimples.’ All right? I could be a billionaire if I didn’t show that warning. I have to do that.” — TREVOR NOAH‘Neva-happen-da’
Seth Meyers pointed to a new argument that’s becoming popular on Fox News: that perhaps Trump shouldn’t declare a national emergency to build the border wall (a move that could well be struck down by federal courts anyway, experts believe) because then a future Democratic president might invoke emergency powers to fight climate change.
It’s clear which situation Meyers thinks would be the real emergency.
“That’s what you’re worried about? That’s like saying, ‘I would give this homeless guy a dollar, but you know he’s just going to use it to print out his résumé and find a job.’” — SETH MEYERS
Meyers played a clip of Trump trying to persuade the Fox News host Chris Wallace that the worsening of California forest fires isn’t due to climate change, but lack of forest maintenance. The president claimed that one governor had told him raking the leaves below trees would help solve the problem. (He wouldn’t name the governor.)
“Why won’t you say which state it was? Seems to me, if a governor figured out how to stop forest fires with a rake, they’d want their name out there. Is it because they’re from Neva-happen-da?” — SETH MEYERS
Then Meyers rolled tape of a Trump rally at which the president warned that proponents of the Green New Deal wanted to prevent people from owning cows.
“Man, Trump is getting really desperate. In two years, he’s gone from ‘they’re going to take your guns away’ to ‘they’re going to take your cows away.’ No one is outlawing cows. You know what we call that? Fake moos.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Fantasy Football Edition)
“After a guy in Dallas finished last place in his fantasy football league — did you hear about this? — he had to go to a dog park covered in peanut butter. His friends laughed, then got concerned when he went back again the next day.” — JIMMY FALLON
“I read about a vegan woman who recently got married and banned all meat eaters from her wedding. Then her friends and family were like, ‘Oh, no, we’re not allowed at your vegan wedding? Oh, bummer.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“The Bernie Sanders campaign has announced that in the first 12 hours after launching his presidential bid, Sanders raised more than million in donations, which is great for Sanders. Great for Sanders, but terrible for the guy behind him at Coinstar.” — SETH MEYERS
In the “Late Show” cold open, Kermit the Frog became a symbol of the Green New Deal. He promised he wouldn’t kill all the cows. (Maybe.)
Noah asked Senator Kamala Harris if she was ready for the frivolity that would inevitably greet her on the presidential campaign trail.What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
“Desus & Mero,” the irreverent late-night show hosted by two young, Bronx-born comics, will debut on Showtime on Thursday in its new weekly slot. Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will be their first guest.Also, Check This Out
Jussie Smollet, the “Empire” star, is now facing a felony charge of falsely reporting a crime, after claiming to have been the victim of a hate crime.
Plus, Ideas for What to Watch Tonight:
The 50 Best Movies on Netflix Right Now
The 25 Best Films of the 21st Century
The Best Movies on Amazon Prime Video Right NowB:
2015年78期开什么生肖“【不】【愧】【是】【攻】【击】【金】【相】【磊】【精】【神】【最】【强】【的】……” 【在】【八】【点】【禁】【令】【的】【中】【间】，【岳】【腾】【也】【感】【到】【惊】【喜】。 【他】【只】【是】【感】【觉】【到】，【随】【着】【他】【周】【围】【的】【攻】【击】【越】【来】【越】【多】【地】【击】【中】【蟾】【蜍】，【蟾】【蜍】【似】【乎】【在】【体】【内】，【也】【似】【乎】【凝】【聚】【出】【了】【一】【种】【非】【同】【寻】【常】【的】【力】【量】，【所】【以】【在】****，【他】【试】【图】【摧】【毁】【这】【种】【力】【量】，【但】【他】【万】【万】【没】【有】【想】【到】，【这】【种】【力】【量】【竟】【然】【如】【此】【强】【大】，【现】【在】【的】【白】【芒】，【天】【堂】【设】【防】【无】
【也】【没】【办】【法】【改】【变】：【萧】【墨】【宸】【喜】【欢】【苏】【皖】，【而】【苏】【皖】【却】【并】【不】【打】【算】【嫁】【给】【萧】【墨】【宸】【这】【个】【事】【实】【了】。 【苏】【皖】【见】【萧】【墨】【宸】【的】【脸】【绷】【得】【紧】【紧】【的】，【周】【身】【散】【发】【出】【生】【人】【勿】【近】【的】【威】【压】，【心】【里】【有】【点】【紧】【张】。 【她】【并】【不】【知】【道】，【这】【个】【冷】【酷】【睿】【智】、【桀】【骜】【不】【驯】【的】【宸】【王】【爷】，【现】【在】【心】【中】【纠】【结】【的】【竟】【然】【是】，【他】【喜】【欢】【苏】【皖】，【而】【苏】【皖】【却】【不】【喜】【欢】【他】，【而】【且】【这】【个】【事】【情】【还】【让】【苏】【皖】【知】【道】【了】，【这】【么】【一】
【转】【眼】【间】，【来】【到】【了】1999【年】【底】。 【林】【世】【琛】【忙】【着】【处】【理】【公】【司】【可】【能】【遇】【到】【的】“【千】【年】【虫】”【问】【题】。 【千】【年】【虫】【事】【件】【是】【一】【次】【全】【球】【范】【围】【内】【的】【计】【算】【机】【漏】【洞】【危】【机】。 【当】【时】【间】【来】【到】2000【年】1【月】1【日】【的】【时】【候】，【各】【个】【行】【业】【都】【爆】【发】【一】【系】【列】【的】【问】【题】。 【金】【融】【行】【业】，【银】【行】【里】【面】【的】【电】【脑】【可】【能】【将】2000【年】【解】【释】【为】1900【年】，【引】【起】【利】【息】【计】【算】【上】【的】【混】【乱】
【第】【四】【百】【九】【十】【九】【章】 【苏】【慕】【锦】【很】【少】【让】【自】【己】【的】【刺】【露】【出】【来】 【苏】【慕】【锦】【很】【少】【让】【自】【己】【的】【刺】【露】【出】【来】，【毕】【竟】【身】【处】【在】【娱】【乐】【圈】，【稍】【有】【不】【妥】，【行】【为】【将】【会】【被】【无】【数】【的】【放】【大】，【所】【要】【面】【对】【的】【事】【与】【物】【也】【变】【得】【沉】【重】【许】【多】。 【涂】【酒】【赶】【到】【时】【候】，【就】【瞧】【见】【几】【人】【针】【锋】【相】【对】【的】【模】【样】，【从】【工】【作】【人】【员】【嘴】【中】【得】【知】【事】【情】【始】【末】。 【作】【为】【唯】【一】【的】“【公】【关】【人】”，【自】【发】【找】【了】【乔】【盛】【顿】【商】【量】2015年78期开什么生肖【祁】【渊】【一】【出】【战】【场】，【林】【小】【满】【当】【即】【就】【是】【开】【挂】【放】【雷】。 【天】【空】【瞬】【间】【黑】【云】【密】【布】，【整】【个】【天】【地】【一】【片】【黑】【压】【压】【的】。 【雷】【劫】【一】【出】，【感】【受】【到】【危】【机】【的】【梼】【杌】【意】【图】【逃】【跑】，【林】【小】【满】【当】【然】【不】【会】【如】【它】【的】【意】，【各】【种】【手】【段】【尽】【出】【的】【缠】【在】【梼】【杌】【身】【上】。 【与】【祁】【渊】【大】【战】【已】【经】【耗】【费】【了】【七】【八】【成】【力】【量】【的】【梼】【杌】【根】【本】【就】【无】【法】【甩】【开】【林】【小】【满】，【只】【能】【眼】【睁】【睁】【的】【看】【着】【雷】【劫】【把】【自】【己】【笼】【罩】【在】【范】【围】【之】
【景】【瑜】【道】：“【我】【这】【边】【倒】【是】【赞】【成】【蕙】【嫔】【的】【意】【思】。”【她】【道】：“【皇】【上】【是】【在】【推】【崇】【节】【俭】，【但】【这】【对】【外】【又】【是】【另】【一】【回】【事】，【蒙】【古】【王】【妃】【来】【京】，**【赠】【礼】【若】【是】【寒】【寒】【酸】【酸】【的】，【难】【免】【叫】【人】【瞧】【着】【笑】【话】，【还】【可】【能】【以】【为】【咱】【们】【大】【清】【国】【力】【不】【似】【从】【前】【了】【呢】。” 【说】【了】【这】【话】，【最】【先】【一】【惊】【的】【事】【蕙】【嫔】，【她】【没】【想】【到】【德】【嫔】【会】【想】【着】【她】【说】【话】。 【不】【过】【即】【便】【是】【向】【着】【她】【说】【话】，【也】【没】【什】【么】【所】
【翌】【日】。 【杜】【翩】【若】【换】【完】【衣】【服】【从】【卧】【室】【走】【出】【来】，【经】【过】【厨】【房】，【见】【宋】【惜】【城】【一】【如】【既】【往】【的】【挂】【着】【围】【裙】，【拿】【着】【锅】【铲】【站】【在】【灶】【台】【前】【面】。 【画】【面】【清】【雅】【又】【温】【馨】。 【她】【眼】【角】【眉】【梢】【忍】【不】【住】【盈】【满】【笑】【意】。 “【你】【是】【在】【我】【大】【脑】【里】【安】【装】【了】【定】【时】【闹】【钟】【吗】？【我】【每】【回】【出】【来】【你】【都】【做】【好】【了】！【我】【今】【天】【特】【意】【起】【早】【了】，【你】【也】【差】【不】【多】！【累】【不】【累】？”【杜】【翩】【若】【笑】【着】，【坐】【在】【了】【料】【理】【台】【前】
【并】【且】【还】【当】【场】【救】【治】【了】【些】【弟】【子】，【我】【觉】【得】【他】【是】【无】【意】【的】【应】【该】【从】【轻】【发】【落】。” “【关】【驭】【峰】【你】【仍】【是】【管】【好】【你】【自】【己】【吧】！”【说】【这】【话】【的】【明】【显】【和】【关】【长】【老】【欠】【好】。 “【我】【觉】【得】【杀】【人】【的】【现】【实】【现】【已】【成】【立】【了】，【就】【应】【该】【处】【死】，【要】【不】【然】，【冥】【神】【帝】【冥】【火】【门】【门】【的】【门】【规】【不】【成】【摆】【设】【了】。” “【他】【是】【皇】【族】【的】【人】，【并】【且】【是】【当】【年】【的】【李】【家】**【喜】【继】【承】【人】【的】【儿】【子】，【也】【便】【是】【现】【在】【的】【李】